Best. Dream. Evar
By Adam Kinder on May 31, 2009 in Life, Writing
So I had this awesome dream last night, and actually remember the whole thing.
Zed Shaw created an international company called, naturally given Zed Shaw’s ego, Zed Shaw International Inc. The company’s sole purpose was to create ebook PDFs, print and sell them to developers. He had approached Andy, Chris and I to get TehDev articles for reprint, and arranged for us all to fly to HQ in Europe.
Oh yeah, one weird thing about this dream was that Chris actually was my co-worker Steven.
For some odd reason that I can’t remember, Chris/Steven and I ended up missing the flight. Andy called from the plane and let me know that it would be making a touch-an-go stop at the next airport, so we went racing down this four lane highway with the plane right above the car.
Suddenly the plane nosedives and tries to make an emergancy landing on the highway right in front of us. Unfortunately they land a bit too hard, the tires go flying off the plane and it skids across eight lanes of traffic, killing all kinds of people.
As the police show up, Zed Shaw comes to the wreckage and presents evidence that Andy, Chris/Steven and I sabotaged the plane. Chris/Steven is deported to China ( where Steven actually is from ) and is publicly executed for helping crash the plane.
I was sent to a “camp” for adults where all you do is play shotgun tag with these odd, painful barrel clip shotguns.
While hanging out in the camp, I get a package from Andy containing some chipsets, a Skype phone and a soldering gun. The instructions inside told me to activate the phone and save the boards.
After activating the phone, Andy called and told me what he had found out. Apparently Zed Shaw sabotaged the plane and set us up to take the fall so he could gank all our TehDev articles and not have to pay for them. He also wanted us out of the way because we were all superior programmers. Sweet.
The flaw in his plan was that while he was able to make Chris/Steven and I miss the flight, Andy had gotten on and was presumed dead. Being the super genius that he is, Andy had spent the time in hiding, building…. A TIME MACHINE. Sweeeeeet.
Thus the circuit boards with the phone. The schematic that was included allowed me to modify the phone in order to receive calls from Andy’s special headset when he went back in time. Back to the year 1946. Back in time in order to.. wait for it…
Kill Zed Shaw’s dad and cause Zed Shaw to not exist
From here the dream became awesome, and way too long to try and detail out. Basically Andy went back to 1946 and started setting traps for Zed Shaw’s dad to fall into. Unfortunately the first attempt took out a random stranger, who ended up being the father of the owner of my eye doctor office, which instantly caused my eyesight to worsen and made it impossible to see.
The second attempt he accidentally took out GW Bush’s grandfather and caused the entire US to change. The third attempt was the charm: setting a piano up 5 stories and dropping it on Zed Shaw’s dad. Mission Accomplished.
Chris/Steven instantly reappeared, I ended up suddenly on a golf course in Florida wearing coke-bottle glasses, and Andy became the millionaire owner of Andy’s International Inc.
Best. Dream. Evar.

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