Internets

Yay, I haven’t updated in forever. I’m redoing the blog and will replace it sometime when I get anything resembling free time.

So here’s a useless update instead!

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water. Lots of water

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
Oh yeah.. forgot I took this from Facebook.. My FB pic is at the Citizant awards banquet.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
I play the real guitar.

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?
My co-worker Jeff

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Played some Dragon Age until 10:30ish, read until 11:30ish, then chatted with Christy in bed until 12:30ish

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
We’re moving to Ashburn, so yeah.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on FaceBook?
Christy lives pretty close

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
Maybe in high school, not so much anymore.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?
Its really not as great as the Dr says.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
When I had the flu in March 09, I had a fever around 103 and started shaking uncontrollably in the car. Then started crying uncontrollably. I thought I was going to die

12. Who took your profile picture?
Bill Johnson from Citizant.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Christy

14. Was yesterday better than today?
Yeah, we got a lot done yesterday (packing, packing, more packing)

15. Can you live a day without TV?
I’m one of those guys that doesn’t have TV so I can tell everyone that I don’t have TV. But yeah, I haven’t had “TV” for six or seven years.

16. Are you upset about anything?
Not really. I wish our home water didn’t taste like rancid cockroaches. You pay $1550 a month and can’t drink the water, you’d think we live in SoCal

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Would you like to die old and alone in a box surrounded by cats? No? Then relationships are worth it.

18. Are you a bad influence?
I’m a great influence.

19. Night out or night in?
I got all my party hardy out years ago, I like staying at home.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Wallet, iPod, various notepads.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Christy, when she tweaked her ankle.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
“ok”

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Its all clicking into place finally.

24. Do you hate anyone?
Nein, I can’t be bothered to be interested enough in the person in the first place.

25. If we were to look in your FaceBook inbox, what would we find?
Spam

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
With flying colors.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Heh, I doubt it.

28. What song is stuck in your head?
Caress Me Down by Sublime.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Someone who enjoys the taste of 7.62×51 FMJ’s

30. Wanna have grand kids before you’re 50?
No

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
I’ll be at Oracle Federal all day tomorrow.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much.

33. Do you smile a lot?
Half and half.

34. What sorts of things do you collect?
Video games, guns and interesting beer

35. Do you like your job?
Fuck yeah!

It’s been a while since Leah Culver called me out on my own blog and pointed out that she was more internet famous than I, and I haven’t forgotten about it.

Not one to pass up a good opportunity to whore more results on Google, I present the end of the Adam Kinder v/s Leah Culver popularity contest: Your move beotch!*

*Not a scientific poll of any kind. Results may be inflated due to the awesome English footballer that stole my name.

I finally got around to updating my picture page, seen here. A couple of albums that were just floating around are hard-linked now, including the awesome V-Day pictures.

After nearly three years and some pretty impressive numbers, Christy and I have decided to part ways with our company.

The primary reason actually isn’t because of money or the recession, but that I absolutely love the projects that I am working on for Citizant, and I’ve decided to leave the private sector entirely and focus solely on my work at Citizant.

Operating E29 was a blast, and I definitely learned a lot from owning my own startup. I’m planning on writing a few articles here on Kinderism about what to do and what not to do if anyone is interested. Trust me, all those “don’t do this” articles you see on the net and then ignore? Yeah, definitely don’t do that.

In other news, I came down with the flu last week and have been out of commission for an entire week. I’m going to get back into the swing of posting to Kinderism ( and TehDevs! It’s back! ) here soon.

Yeah, it’s been a while, I have more posts coming, I just wanted to toss this tidbit up there.

I played the demo for that Wheelman game recently, the one where Pontiac paid bundles to have the “official” car in the game be a G8, even though they are begging for taxpayer money to keep the company running.

But that’s another rant.

Anyway, the car in the game sucks. Bodyroll to the heavens, can’t hold a corner worth a shit, and the rear end looks like the rear of a Civic you would find deep in the Valley. As I previously wrote, Pontiac had this cute campaign going after the BMW 5 series, saying that the G8 was superior.

If they wanted an even more stupid comparison, they should have attacked the BMW 330 for not being able to do 0-60 as fast as their precious G8. Nevermind that the 330 has about 200 less horsepower, it’s all about the marketing angle right?

So, I posted up another comment on the Youtube video for the 5 versus 8 commercial:

kinderstod

Ok let me get this straight… Pontiac creates a 6.2L engine that is only capable of getting ~400HP, and a car that can only pull a 0.9 on the skidpad. ( Protip: To the ones saying “This is better than a Mustang” the Mustang gets .87-.88, so you’re right there with them ) The MSRP is $45,000

Then, they go after the stock 5 series?

You know what you can get for $45,000?

A 2005 BMW M5 with a 5L engine that gets 500HP ( Since the Germans know what the fuck they are doing ) and 0.99-1.1 on the skidpad.

And I don’t see BMW crying to their government for a handout either.

I’ve gotten quite a few flames so far, one from “buyamericanyounazis”. This is the average intelligence of the Pontiac G8 fanbase: they would rather spend $45k on yet another crappy American sedan/coupe that can’t hold it’s own against other cars in it’s class, than buy a superior sports car ( or even sedan, the M5 SEDAN gets better times than the G8 coupe ) just because it’s BY GOD AMERICAN ( built in Australia ).

Even better, if we’re not counting price range, for $70k you can get a BMW M3 with an even SMALLER engine that STILL gets more horsepower than the G8.

Maybe they should use that bailout money to hire better engineers, rather than starting a pissing match against another car company that can kick the shit out of you.

It’s fun to look through the stat logs for Kinderism and find out where some of my stuff is ending up.

I’ve actually gotten three trackbacks through to MichelleMalkin.com using a subtle and different title tag for my MM bashing posts.

Apparently MuadDib from Dexter, MO found my Vampire Subculture picture funny and put it as her “About me” section: Interpals.net

John Dvorak’s site has a link back to my “GradeA Bullshit” picture as the “gov’t page” for Gerald Celente.

The GradeA Bullshit picture is popular ( and I yanked it from somewhere else ), folks over on FreeRepublic are using it to troll each other.

Again with the Bullshit picture, WordForge.net users are trolling each other in the politics forums.

Somewhere in this SodaHead thread about “hatin on christains[sic]“, someone got mad over something I said ( probably the TraditionalValues thing ) and linked to it.

I’ve got the market on “suze orman criticism”, “suze orman is an idiot”, and “tanglewood apartments manassas”. Next up, I’m going for “michelle malkin sucks” or something.

And last but not least, I get a lot of reads from Lithuania, Slovakia and Estonia. Probably because my grammar sucks so bad that they think I’m not a native speaker

So Miley Cyrus did the Asian eyes thing in a photo, and someone in Cali decided to file a $4billion lawsuit over it.

Apparently they think that this no-talent hack has $4billion in the first place, or that she has any relevance other than trying to become sluttier and sluttier so she can eventually pose nude at 18.

Anyway, the real point is that Michelle Malkin, like a true hypocrite, has flip-flopped on Asian racism. When the Spanish b-ball team did it, she called them racial bigots, and her readers called for the Chinese to bomb Spain, et al.

When Cyrus does it, she says that she posed for a “stupid photo” and then throws some Asian self-hate into the post. Never wanting to be outdone in the race for King dumbshit, one reader somehow connected the lawsuit to Democrats. Seriously:

Ok, so blowing people up – or your girlfriend blowing herself up under your direction – is ok and results in a Profesorship and juice at the White House. Pulling your eyes back results in a $4 billion lawsuit. Yes, the Dems have made their mark.

And on the Spanish thread, one reader said:

That being said, I dislike Spain. Those pansies were “neutral” in WWII

Yeah, apparently we’re still hung up on WWII and how awesome America Fuck Yeah! was, and how Japanese import cars should be banned, etc.

A bit of non-news first: Stephen King came out and said Stephanie Myers is a shitty writer.

In the reddit thread that followed, teflonbob came up with a hilarious plot for a book:

That could be the premise for Kings next novel, a post-apocalyptic world where Meyers, Rowling and King each control a faction in the burnt out wastes of America. Meyers rules the tweens and 40 somethings, Rowling rules the pre-tweens and King has a raging horde of twenty-to-forty-somethings which ravages the country side and occasionally raids civilization.

…

I can see it now..
“Who run muggle town?”
“ROWLING RUN MUGGLE TOWN!!” – proceeded by JK Rowling ripping the head off of a Meyers’ follower.

…

Phillip K. Dick unfortunately dies in a firefight soon after the bombs drop. Before he died he took out numerous FBI and CIA agents who were at the time tracking him (he was right all along!)

Terry Pratchet, Margrett Weis, Tracy Hickman, Richard Knaak, R. A Salvatore and the re-animated corpses of H.P Lovecraft and J. R. R. Tolkien find refuge up in the free-states of Canada. Piers Anthony lived with them for a short time however he was kicked out because his Xanth series was just too wierd for even a group that lived with two re-animated corpses. They are guarded around the clock by fanatic fanboys (and fangirls) who fancy themselves druids in a system reminiscent of LARPing.

Arthur C. Clarke (who had faked his death in 2008 to join Stanley Kubrick on the monolith circling Saturn) returns to Earth to teach the wasteland children the fundamentals of survival in a scene very reminiscent of the 2001:Space Odyssey ape scene in Africa.

Douglas Adam’s left years ago with the Dolphins and thus was unaffected by the chaos. Upon hearing about the decimation of Earths civilizations he simply states ‘Took long enough, but now where am I going to get a good cup of tea?’

…

I would but it would only end up being some wierd hybrid of a biopic fanfiction that would never see the light of day. It would be reviled by millions and adored by only a small cabal of readers on 4chan and maybe an irc newsgroup.
Just by the authors involved you know that in one chapter you would find out there was a secret romance before the ‘end time’ between two of the ‘Author Overlords’ and that child is the rightful heir to not only one but two of the ‘Provinces of the Book.’ King’s royal tabbard would have either a car or a tower silhouette. Rowlings would be a lightning symbol or a wand while Meyers would be a set of vampire fangs or a tear drop (or perhaps a slashed wrist.)
Ugh, this shit just rights itself when it comes to a lot of these authors. :\

I think teflonbob should get on this, I would definitely buy it. I would say “If he doesn’t, then I will and give him credit”, but I don’t know enough about each of authors to make it convincing.

Seriously, “ROWLING RUN MUGGLE TOWN!!” made me choke on my coffee.

(From Facebook)

Answer one word for each question. This is harder than you think!

1. Where is your cell phone? none
2. Significant other? yep
3. Your hair? brown
4. Your mother? Nurse
5. Your father? Fisherman
6. Your favorite thing? SKITTLES
7. Your dream last night? Nuclear
8. Your favorite drink? Scotch
9. Your dream? M3
10. The room you’re in? Loft
11. Your fear? Snakes
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Italy
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you’re not? Open
15. Muffins? CHOCO
16. One of your wish list items? Vacation
17. Where you grew up? WVA
18. The last thing you did? Code ( No mom, not *that* kind of code )
19. What are you wearing? Nothing
20. Your TV? HD
21. Your pet? Cavaliers
22. Your computer? 64
23. Your life? Awesome
24. Your mood? Awesome
25. Missing someone? Henson
26. Your car? Paid-Off ( Hyphen’s count? No? :/ )
27. Something you’re not wearing? Pants

Ah Conservapedia, the laughingstock of the Wiki world. Read more to understand why Conservapedia is a stalwart example of the Expert Idiot problem.
Continued